The Randomness of the mind

Or Pure Insanity?

Such is my little life. There is not much I am afraid to post online as I will keep this semi confidential. I like to write and it has been a long time since I have done any. not that anything I post up here will be educational or deep or thoughtful or, other big words that make my mind explode. Oh, To sing the pure joy of my wandering mine.

The pants rock opera, it has been a while. My playlist is on random at the moment. It provides a very odd mix of music. I listen to a lot of different genres. Most of it is more mellow then I used to think I was but at the same time I believe that is who I am and have become. I am very laid back and take life as comes. (is there really any other way to move through life?) Eh. Maybe I have just become old and am unwilling to admit it.

I feel like I am struggling with so much and so little. I am in a dead end relationship that is not really in God's perfect vision. (But it God is perfect then are not all things a perfect part of his plan? can we make his plan imperfect? a discussion for another day maybe.) At the same time I feel torn about it but I still know what a should do, not that it makes the act any easier. I have fallen away and want to get back to where I was, no closer then I ever have as I never really have been close. There are always things that block the path. I will try to remedy the problems soon.

If you say something enough times does it become reality? Reality is only technically what you can perceive. Of course, your perception can differ from the collective view of reality, whereupon society labels you crazy. This also points toward Christianity as Christianity as perceived is by the collective differs from reality. So the Christians are either crazy or enlightened. I vote for both.

God has provided us with the ability to see the world though different eyes, through the Creator's perspective. Se we are privileged with seeing the world as it truly is; fallen and depraved, void of all purity, with the overwhelming exception of God dwelling among us to help provide others a glimpse into reality. It is humbling that the Creator of all choses us above any other way to show his light. oh and absolutely terrifying.

We as Christians are the number one thing standing in God's way, not that he does not remove us as obstacles, but Christians are the number one destroyers of Christianity. I consider myself example number one in this scenario. So, while this is aimed at many people this is also a real examination of myself. I am a hypocrite, have been my entire life and probably will forever be that way, but I will work at it from here out.

If more Christians would realize this and just start acting as real humans, we would truly make a difference beyond anything we could even dream of imagining. Part of the reason I got tired of my church is this reason. Day in and day out you have people preaching one thing and living another, or worse, simply not living. If you close yourself out from the world completely you will also loose touch and a good part of your effectiveness. We need to stop arguing over little rules that have no real definition in the Bible to begin with and start loving people.

I am absolutely amazed by the number of times I have seen people who did not fit certain criteria be turned away. Usually this is not blatant, but ignoring people that you don't understand or have some irrational fear of. WE ignore them and forget they are human. They are no different then you or I. We all live breath and poop and at one point you were probably in there shoes. That is the worst sin the church commits. we forget that we are all sinners and we were all there. not one of us looks any better in the eyes of the father. His love is more then we can ever accept and his wrath burns against us more then we could ever begin to comprehend.
There is one difference, Some of use have a mediator who acts in our behalf. How can we deny people of that knowledge simply because of known or unconscious prejudices. Do we assume that we will not be held accountable. We may be saved through Gods mercy but each sin will still be brought for all to see, but we have the mediator. It almost seams cyclic. I have no way to describe the feeling. it is sickening.

So yeah. Not what I really planned to post but.., maybe some other day.

To those who read this, all none of you? eh. scratch it I feel not the witty one today. I severly doubt anyone will ever read this anyway. If you do, you could drop me a comment to let me know? would love to hear from you.